Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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