i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
