I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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