I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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