my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you win again, gameday.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
