If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
