Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
