i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
