What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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