hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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