You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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