My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
