Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
