yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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