We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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