Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
