i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
