saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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