I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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