? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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