is wine microwaveable?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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