Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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