so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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