no, he came in my armpit
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize