At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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