i just had sex bonerless
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
