White coat. Heels.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so let's talk penis.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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