You made me cry and you don't even care
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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