Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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