If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have aggressive nipples.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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