the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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