Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
