talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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