I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
