I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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