Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
