Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
