I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
