Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
