She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
