Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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