She said her name was "party"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
