You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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