Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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