I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem