That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
