Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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