And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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