Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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