she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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