so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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