he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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