I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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