so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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