dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
