Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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