She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have surprise drugs for everyone
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
