So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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