Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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