Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
