Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
