There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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