fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize