Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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