this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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