idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
