let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
