Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
