marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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