roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
