4 words: hood of his car
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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